On Facebook I shared a video from Will Smith about setting your life on fire!
What happens when you surround yourself with people who set your life on fire? With people who fan your fire?
In coaching, I see my clients having trouble being able to ask for what they want and need from their tribe, their family and friends. They often are unable to create clear boundaries with others; people pushing food they don’t want, or others trying to sabotage their efforts to make healthy habits stick.
Why are we struggling?
Well I don’t know about you, but I was never taught these life skills in any class. I had to go out and discover them, find strategies on my own. And the world is full of people, things, food, and all sorts of other distractions that pressure us or push us to follow their plan or their agenda.
With all the pressure (even from our loved ones) we tend to act impulsively, make poor decisions, sacrifice our wants for the wants of others, and be reactive instead of proactive!
How do we get what we want?
Today I challenge you to find your team; recruit them! Who do you want to surround yourself with, what type of people? Who will set your life on fire? Who will support you in making healthy lifestyle choices?
Once you have your team, great! You will have some support to obtain your goals! And here is something you can do with your family/loved ones to change the communication, to change the environment, for them to be on your team!
A game the whole family can play
Set up the discussion so other people are on your team. These lifestyle changes you are working towards does not mean it is you against them; it’s you with your loved ones against “the problem”.
“I’d really like your support. Can you help me ____________?”
You’re really good at coming up with solutions for things. Can you help me figure out how to ____________?”
Explain what you are trying to do, and why.
“I’m trying to take better care of my health. I was really scared when I got that warning from my doctor, and I have realized that I need to change some habits.”
State clearly what you would like help with, and how.
“What would help me the most is ____________.”
Negotiate a compromise if needed.
“I don’t want you to have to give up or change ________, because I know you enjoy it. Is there a way you can still have / do it, but I can still stay on track with my choices?”
Come from position of assistance and support
If we can communication from a position of compassion, assistance and support, I hope your loved one’s will be on your side. I hope they help you reach the top, reach your goals. If you need help preparing for asking for support, contact me.
This can take a lot of courage to do, to ask for help, to take care of yourself, and to stick with your goals.
This bravery of working towards the future you want will make you the best you that you can be. Working towards your future will elevate you to thrive!